But did you say it…..,

I haven’t slept well for years. And not just because I have five children. I also have some insomnia issues that stem from some health problems. What that means is I have spent the last several years in a functional coma. Yes, functional coma. It’s a medical term…. look it up. ( You won’t find it. ..but you can still look it up if you want to. ) However, recently , and by recently I mean the last seven days… I have made some dietary changes that have helped….. oh…. and taken a sleeping pill. That may also have played a part in the fact that I feel more concious than I can recall feeling in FOREVER….

Sooo, imagine my children’s confusion when for the second day in a row I required them to be physically and mentally active ALL DAY LONG.  Day one wasn’t so bad.  They were so bewildered that they just sort of allowed themselves to be carried on the wave of my productivity. By day two, however, frustration and crappy attitudes were in full swing. Just as I was about to yell at them to change their tones and speak lovingly to each other or else, I remembered I was a Christian… So,  instead I calmly pulled them aside, apologized for my three year long functional coma,  and explained that we would now be living life as responsible , hard working citizens! And with a good attitude….got me! They nodded that they indeed “got me”  and went back to their chores.

unfortunately,  the oldest did not get me the way I wanted her to get me. That meant a private session was required. Praise God, for that…. no, really. I actually mean praise God. Because that led to one of the most significant conversations we have ever had.

We talked about prayers….. the ones that don’t get answered….the ones that take so long to be answered you feel beaten up, hopeless, and half dead by the time God says yes… the ones that get answered in the most painful ways.  We talked about our plans vs God’s plans. We talked about the story of Joseph. .. we pondered about how many times he must have pleaded with God to change his situation… And God didn’t. ..for years . God didn’t,  because while Joseph wanted God to rescue his individual life, God had plans to rescue millions of lives. But, that plan included so many difficult and painful things for Joseph.  I told her about the night I miscarried my first child. I told her how I begged for God not to do this….”PLEASE,  DON’T DO THIS. ..” But, He did.  And because He did, the timing allowed her to be conceived.  And, now, here she is …changing the world.

Now, the point of this particular blog is not about how God’s plans are greater than ours and we need to trust Him through the pain. They are and we do. But that’s not my point. My point is this…. what happened after I told my 12 year old her existence is changing the world.

She asked me how. And I told her. I told her how her existence has changed her best friend’s life… brought comfort and encouragement in a way that will help her bff grow in confidence.., which will alter her future.  I told my daughter how she has enriched our family….how her prescence and gifts have made things sweeter for us, thus changing the kind of people we become. Then I told her she is only 12 and has alrwady impacted so many lives…. imagine how much she will impact the world by the time she is an old women!  And guess what…. she believed me. Every word….she believed me. Can you imagine what a girl who believes she is valuable to the world around her will grow up to be??????  My heart bursts at thought. …

But what if I hadn’t told her? It would have all been true but she wouldn’t have known it. That means it would have been, for her, as if were not true….

We have to use words people….we have to say the words . Or they might not know…they might not know the things they need to know so they can grow up and change the world.

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